Life can sometimes be exhausting and stressful, sometimes it feels like some days are just a series of problems. When you have to deal with a stressful situation, it can be hard to stay calm.
Here We will present you some of the effective ways to help you keep calm unther those stressful situations.
Control your thoughts and emotions
- Don’t take things personally: In many stressful situations, you might be tempted to see personal attacks when there are none. For example, at your place of work, one of your colleagues could make a decision with which you do not agree or which may seem inappropriate to you. However, you shouldn’t take it as a personal affront, but rather as a business decision.
- Realize that everyone has their own ideas and that sometimes those ideas will conflict with yours. A different point of view should not be taken as an insult.
- Don’t let other people’s decisions manipulate or control your emotions when it’s nothing personal.
2. Reflect on your past crises: Analyze all the times you reacted because of an outburst of emotions. Ask yourself if these outbursts helped you improve an already bad situation. Most of the time you will find that the answer is no.
Think about what happens during your emotional outbursts. Consider the rule, not the exceptions. Once or twice, the situation may have worked itself out after you got upset. However, as a general rule, if you express a burst of emotions, you will rather complicate the situation.
3. Avoid guesswork: When someone gets angry, it becomes easier to assume that the people involved in the problem are acting in the worst possible way even before receiving confirmation of that behavior. However, the behaviors and motivations you might be tempted to assume are often wrong, and you’ll get angry for things that aren’t there.
Similarly, when something goes wrong, you can easily assume that things will continue to get worse. By making this kind of assumption, you will create a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are going to create even more problems just because you expect there to be.
For example, if you just went through a complicated breakup, you might think that all of your mutual friends will turn against you after hearing your ex’s version. This panic could cause you to distance yourself from others and you will unwittingly cause the problem you were afraid of.
4. Identify the real source of your frustration: Ask yourself why you got angry. A certain situation might have acted as a trigger, but it might not have solved the problem. Only by identifying the real problem can you hope to resolve the situation.
For example, your stress could have been triggered by a last-minute assignment given to you by your teacher or boss. However, the homework itself might not be the source of your stress. You might be personally frustrated because the assignment will interfere with the time you wanted to spend with your partner or you might be professionally frustrated because your teacher or boss is forcing you to do unfair assignments in this way.
Take care of the problem to avoid others in the future. If these last-minute assignments frustrate you, discuss it with your boss so that he can let you know sooner.
Remember that you can also say no. You shouldn’t get into the habit of saying no too often to your boss if he’s the problem, but you can do it once in a while, especially if you already had something else planned.
5. Call a friend: If you keep stress and frustration inside, you will often retain a high degree of anxiety and find it nearly impossible to keep calm. You can talk to a friend, family member, or colleague you trust to vent your frustrations.
6. Keep a journal or write a letter: Many people find it helpful to put their frustrations into a list, poem, or story. Take the time to step away from the situation to write down the emotions you are feeling. If you’re mad at someone, you might write them a letter that you don’t send. Use this mechanism to express yourself.
Put the letter or note away and consider destroying it when you feel better.
7. Observe the situation from an objective point of view: Ask yourself how an outsider might view the current problem or how you would view it if it happened to someone other than you. Be honest and use your findings to help guide your reactions.
For example, if you feel upset because someone cut you off, use an impersonal approach. This person could be elderly or they could have received bad news. Don’t think she did it just to annoy you.
Also ask yourself how someone you admire would handle such a situation. By finding yourself a role model you can follow, you will be able to moderate your reactions and become the person you want to be.
Stay positive and calm
1. Take a few deep breaths: Inhale slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth. This helps increase the oxygen levels in your body, which will calm you down so you don’t respond aggressively or inappropriately.
When you panic, your breathing will automatically become more shallow and rapid. By intentionally slowing your breathing and inhaling more deeply, you reverse the panic response.
2. Exercise: Physical stress can add to situational stress, causing you to overreact to the situation at hand. Forget situational stress and focus on physical stress by doing a few minutes of physical exercise. Take a moment to exercise at your desk if you are at work.
You can also go for a walk or do some Yoga.
If there’s a gym at or near your place of work, you might consider buying a membership to go there during your lunch break or before you go to work. This is a great way to relieve your stress regularly during the week.
3. Stretch: If you only have a few minutes, relieve your pain as best you can by standing up, stretching slowly, and walking around your desk or room a bit. Stretch your sore muscles from lack of activity and soothe those you’ve overworked.
4. Eat something: If you feel dehydrated or dizzy, drink some water and snack. If you’re close to lunch break, get out of your office and eat out. You can go alone if you want some alone time to reflect or you can go with friends to relax.
Try to eat healthy foods that will improve your mood and give you more energy. Junk food will make you feel more lethargic.
Avoid sweets, as they may heighten your tension or reactivity.
5. Take a break: Sometimes the best thing to do during a chaotic situation is to simply walk away from it. Spend time doing something you enjoy to forget about the problem you have. It can change your mood and help you deal with the problem in a calmer way later.
For example; if you are stressed because a colleague insulted you, you could ask him to excuse you and go to the bathroom or your office to calm down.
Even a little break is better than no break at all. If you can only walk away for five minutes, do so. If you can take longer, take longer.
You can disconnect completely. Step away from the computer, put your phone on silent and go somewhere to do something unrelated to the digital world. Technology is an amazing thing, but it keeps people so connected that it can be hard to escape unless you put it aside for a little while.
If you can’t do that, you can also try spending a few minutes on a website or digital activity that makes you happy. For example, try a coloring application, it could relax you.
6. Work on something more productive: You could increase your stress by spending too much time on unproductive activities. If you still don’t feel like you’ve calmed down after a little break, you can spend more time doing something unrelated to your stress and still be productive.
It works best if you find something you’ve wanted to do for a long time and have always put off. Clean up your files. Tidy up your bedroom or office. Finish a book you started.
7. Shift to an attitude of gratitude: You could improve your mood by thinking about the moments that fill you with gratitude. The most important thing is to focus on the source of your gratitude, not on your responsibility for your lack of gratitude in the face of other difficulties.
Identify the things in your life that make you happy, such as people, your pets, your home, etc. Think about all these sources of happiness for a few minutes. You could look at a photo of your family or friends.
8. Think about the possibilities: Instead of thinking about all the negative consequences that come after a bad situation, think about the positive consequences that could come out of it. See your current difficulties as opportunities.
For example, if you have just lost your job, your first reaction might be fear for the future. Now might be a good time to reflect on what went wrong at work and tell yourself that you no longer have to deal with it.
If you lost your job, now is also a good time to think about the different doors that are open to you now that your job is no longer holding you back.
9. Consider your views on this incident in the future: The things that threaten your inner peace are most often short-lived. When you consider this point of view, it will be easier for you not to waste your energy worrying about your problems.
If you find it hard to imagine yourself in five or ten years, think about where you were five or ten years ago. Take into account the sources of stress that occupied you at the time. In general, you will be able to see that the things that seemed like big problems to you at the time are not so important now.
Respond patiently and assertively
1. Show tact and respect: If you have a problem with someone in your personal or professional life that is causing you stress, you need to address it with that person. Share your frustrations with her without accusing anyone. Keep your voice at a normal, neutral tone and show him respect.
For example, you might say, “I didn’t like the way you cut me off during the meeting. I feel like you do that a lot and I feel frustrated because I don’t get to share my ideas with you.”
2. Control your facial expressions and body language: Even if your heart is on your sleeve, if you hope to stay calm, you need to control your face and your body language. You might show that you are aggressive or angry just by your expressions and the way you hold yourself. Instead, try to demonstrate open and welcoming positive gestures.
Don’t cross your arms or frown.
Instead, sit with your hands in your lap or at your sides. Keep a neutral facial expression, without frowning or smiling.
3. Focus your arguments on three main points: There is no need to bombard the person who pissed you off with all your complaints. Instead, try to focus on key points that explain your anger. If you overwhelm her, she’ll be less likely to respond positively and she’ll get defensive  .
For example, if you feel upset with your partner after an argument, you might say, “I’d like to talk about our argument. I was very embarrassed that you interrupted me while I was talking, tried to accuse me and insulted me during arguments. I don’t think it’s healthy and I would like us to continue in a more constructive way.”
4. Go forward: Once you’ve managed to keep your cool and reflect on how you’re feeling, move on and move on. It could mean that you’re trying to fix the problem, or you’re walking away from the problem altogether.
When you do, focus only on things you can control, such as your schedule, actions, and interactions. Don’t fixate on the things you “would like” to happen.
Find practical solutions. Ask for an extension of the deadline. Seek professional advice if you’re having trouble dealing with a difficult relationship or addiction.
5. Avoid future problems: You cannot avoid all of life’s problems. As much as possible, try to live a calm, drama-free life. You will feel happier and less stressed. Do what you can to avoid tragedies!
For example, if you get upset with other motorists on your way to work, you can try leaving earlier to have more time to get to work. Don’t let the little hassles ruin your day!
You can also avoid conflicts with your co-workers. If you often argue with a co-worker who regularly interrupts you during meetings, you could talk to them privately and ask them to avoid doing so in the future. You might also have a conversation with your boss that might help you resolve the issue.